Last Memory
by AngryHero42
Summary: There wasn't much he could think about at night. Just the thought of missing her and not being able to see her.


**AH: I'm back with a short one-shot I had on me for some time. I hope you like! Reviews are always welcomed.**

Last Memory

There wasn't much he could think about at night. Just the thought of missing her and not being able to see her. It was a torment to see the minutes and hours pass by and he still felt that it had been ages since the last time he got to gaze at her eyes or contemplate her. His fingers ached for the touch of her skin and his lips burned with the need of hers. Where was she in this night of torment. Could she be feeling the same as him?

He wished he could watch her sleep at least, to know she was safe. To know she was alright. He needed to know what she was doing or what ran through her mind. Was she happy right now, or was she crying? Was she mad with her father again or was she enjoy time with friends. Friends... of course. She had many of those, to many for his worries. And what he mostly disliked of it was the reason that they were mostly guys. This would only made him feel uneasy at times. To think one of them would...

She certainly needed to hang out more with females, problem was she was only interested on sports, specially soccer, and no regular girl would want to get her hands dirty with sports like she loved to. The way she could move on the field, the tricks she hid that could surprised anyone. She had gotten better at the sport by time. He couldn't help but feel proud of her. Proud...? Was that the word he searched for? He wasn't his parent or anything... but it was certainly something similar. But what else could describe his feeling? Well, whatever it was, it sure made him feel happy.

Even that feeling was a bit odd for him to admit. Most of his time in work he would feel frustrated. With lots of work in hand, he would surely feel stressed. He was easy on loosing his patience. But when he visited that girl in the world of the living, he would feel... calm. He didn't think about work or meetings he had to assist. He would only do as he pleases or even be taken by that girl to places she would call 'fun'.

She once took him to an 'Arcade'. There were lots of people playing games in machines that shined in bright colors. Some were for dancing, others for playing music. She took him to a 'Shooting Game'. Apparently, he had to shoot people at the other side of the screen without even knowing how. Perhaps those guns posses some kind of strange power that made his shoots effective, he though. At the end of the first game, she won. Of course she couldn't stop mocking him for his poor play, but his spirit rose with her mockery and he insisted in another game of revenge.

Apparently, it worked and a second try was enough to beat her. Their game didn't end here. They played for countless hours, not giving any other players the opportunity to play in the machine, but of course, they only cared on crushing one another. Their game was finally done, when she ran out of money to play with, but they already had lost count of the times each one had won or lost to the other. They decided to call it even. That time, he could still remember how pumped up he felt as he played that game with her. It was a new feeling, he thought. But how could he call it? Something around excitement, maybe? Close.

There was this other time when she took him to a place called 'the Movies'. He had heard a lot about it back in soul society, but he hadn't actually been able to be at one. It was surprising to notice it was a very dark place. Only the lights of that giant screen would illuminate the room, but there were also dark scenes that didn't help either. It was so dark, it was hard to visualize her clearly between the dark. Even some times, by accident, his hand would slightly touch hers and he would swing back his hand as if he had burned himself. He would pray for her to not notice, but of course that would be useless. Here he felt slightly awkward and uncomfortable, but, shouldn't they be like this? Shouldn't that be how things should be between them by now? They were friends after all, no? Was that how it was called? Friends?

He would some times remember the touch of her hand in the dark and he would think of how he knew why she never pulled away like he did. At the end his hand remained still, wondering if it was alright to be this way. Wondering why, although he wanted to stay like this, it made him feel so uneasy. Another strange feeling from this, it was probably embarrassment. He had been feeling like this a lot lately when he saw her. Specially when she smiled or laughed. It was strange how this feelings worked on him.

This other time, she took him to a big box devise she called 'A Photo Booth' hidden behind a curtain, from the rest of the exterior world. He almost had to lean over her to keep him self inside. He would try to find more space between them while she ran through bottoms until she pushed him closer to her and the screen started taking shoots of them.

She would make him do different poses each time a picture snapped until he finally got the rhythm of it. By the end of the shoots, he found himself laughing at their silliness for no reason. This was also new on him. Laughter and enjoyment. If this is what humans referred to as 'Fun' then, I guess it's not so bad after all, he thought. But then, he found himself, admiring her smile. So sweet and melodic like music. The grin in her soft lips. After their laughter, they found themselves gazing deeply into each other, not making any movement, just staring... into their eyes? Not even them could tell. The last picture snapped, capturing them like this.

They both panicked a little on the inside to think this last moment had been captured. When they saw their pictures printed out, it was right there. Their eyes meeting each other into a deep chain that linked them together. Both of them decided to not say anything about that one. The others, they were funny and enjoyable. Surely a good memory he would love to store in him. He was surprised to see she started giving him many of the pictures they have taken together, but then, she stopped at the last one. Without a clue of what to do with it, she observed it in her hands. He said nothing to her about it, but judging by her looks, she probably felt the same way about it as him.

He snatched the picture from her hands, she complained a little, but she complained even more when she saw him rip the photo apart. A Division between him and her. He handed over a piece of the photo to her, it was his side, that meant he remained with her side. A memory, he said as an excuse. He only wanted to see her photo a bit more, that was all. She didn't seemed to bother at all. She seemed really happy about it, growing a smile as she looked at his picture some more. How would he call this feeling right there? It was certainly hard to explain, as any other feeling. He was happy, but more than happy... hopeful, but.. for what? What could he hope for when he saw her like that?

Maybe since then, he had been hoping for what happened next. His most recent memory. His most precious memory.

He had to leave early in the morning back to Soul Society, so he had arranged with her to say his farewell the night after. And even if they had spent the evening together, he still felt as if there was something important he hadn't done yet. There was still something missing he couldn't quite figure out. Maybe he was forgetting something? But he had made sure to pack all his things days after, what could he be missing? Then, maybe it wasn't part of his belongings. Maybe it wasn't something he couldn't carry. Maybe it was something he was tired of carrying he couldn't bare anymore. He couldn't hold himself back much longer. Sooner or later, he was going to burst. And that is what he did.

He excused himself from the others that were all ready to go through the Senkaimon. He disappeared from the scene, traveling Karakura town in flash step to get there faster. He followed her spiritual pressure, which took him to a long street where she appeared to be walking at the opposite direction from her way to school. He started running towards her, thinking not even flash step would take him to her as quickly as he wanted to. When he was reaching to her, he called her name out. She jumped startle to see him there, earlier thinking he might have already gone back to Soul Society. She was wrong, and how glad she was about it.

He stopped to catch his air, but not because he had tired himself from the flash step or from the running, there was something else inside him that was running. It took him a while to come back to his senses. As he stared into her once again, he wonder if he was ever going to be able to face it. The most dangerous battle he has ever been in. His words flowed out of him.

''Karin..." her name calmed him, soothing this beating heart and drying his wet and drowning voice. "I love you."

So that was it, that was the feeling he looked for. No, but he was wrong. He was wrong all along. It was more than a feeling, it was a state in mind, it was a sickness, it was a curse. It was everything but just a feeling. Feelings where only inside of you, but he wanted to show her how much he loved her and for that, he had to do more than express his feelings. That is why, he didn't waited for her to reply to his words, he walked right up to her, delicately raised up her soft chin and giving himself, he gave her his feelings.

He brushed his lips against hers thinking this may be the only time he would get to do such a thing. He caressed her cheeks as he dug himself deeper in their embrace. It was uneasy to let go, but he had to. He opened his eyes. She was still there, asking for more, asking for him to not leave, almost crying for him to stay. He couldn't help feel guilty to leave her like this, but he would have to go now and not come back for a long time. There was no certainty of what may happen in the remaining years, and he was going to leave her like this?

"I..." His throat became soar again. "I'm sorry-" she broke his apology digging herself into his arms. She tightly hugged him refusing to let go while she hid her tears in his cloths. He wrapped his arms around her as well, soothing her hair, calming her shaking body from the tears she shed while he fought back his own without succeeding. He tried shushing her loud sobs calming her shaking and ceasing her tears.

He broke their embrace to look at her. Her eyes red, tears still streaming. He brushed them off of her and planted a kiss on her forehead. He raised her head so she would look at him only. Even thought she still cried, she forced out a smile for him, making him only feel worst for her pain. They rest they foreheads together. She stops her tears with a sigh and they say nothing for long minutes. They only want to feel each other until it's over.

He Finally realizes it should be about now, that he must go and leave her, but now, even that seems impossible. How could he ever be so far away from her for so long? How would he ever live without her? It seems pointless to him.

How could he ever leave her? How could he ever let her go? He doesn't want to see her suffering anymore, it's better if he lives now without hesitation.

With one last farewell, he disappears in a flash step.

This is the price he must pay. This is the pain he must suffer. This are the consequences for falling in love, above everything, with a human girl.

 **The End**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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